They found that for every extra year the husband spent in retirement… And, yet, we still do nothing. Many couples suffer from what's known as "Retired Husband Syndrome," Arnett says. We have been married for almost 11 yrs and have an eight year old child. The Cure for the Chronically Self-Consumed Man. Selfish Husband. Be mindfully optimistic. Over the past four years this has really annoyed me, but when I try talking to him about it he doesn’t want to know. Every day I wake up between 7 and 8 , have coffee and breakfast read the paper and news on internet then go out for a walk or bike ride. My husband has been through many jobs, and had his own business for a decade, which didn't make much money. Even if you were home all day and not working, your husband should be supportive and do what he can to help you. My husband retired and the only thing he enjoys is TV, and complaining about political stuff, and that is literally it! https://pairedlife.com/relationships/Coping-With-Your-Spouses-Retirement I was sick to my stomach that my husband does nothing. Both of us retired. I worked for 40+ years, no I don’t get bored. Just like you’re overwhelmed with everything you describe you do, we’re now overwhelmed with thinking about all that you do and what you want us to help with. My husband used to do this. Something needed to change, and fast. ... That way his other two days off he can be awake all day and schedule time in for you and your son. And as far as the kids are concerned, I have absolutely no respect for someone who will not care for their children. My husband does nothing around the house except sleep and eat. He doesn’t like my children (2nd marriage for both of us), or any of my relatives. We imagined leisurely days we could spend together doing all the things we love to do. 'My Husband Does Nothing In This Marriage And I Do Everything' ... (Some time for myself would be nice too.) He just loves being retired and doing nothing at all. I’m tried of trying. Well, now that day is here. ... it never did. After confronting my husband, and after him getting extremely defensive, I finally gave in and asked if we could go for marriage counseling. According to a study by Bowling Green State University, divorce rates … I do all the cooking, cleaning, etc. Optimism has a diffusing effect on someone who is constantly complaining because it doesn't fuel the fires of negativity. In fact it cost us money quite often. They gave each woman a retired husband syndrome ‘score’ depending on the extent of their emotional problems. Finally, the day we’ve been working toward arrived. Being Assertive and Optimistic Step 1. Ever since I left the workforce 10 years ago, we’ve dreamed of the days when my husband would join me. When your husband doesn’t clean up even his part of the mess but just leaves it for you to do or plays video games instead of putting the kids to bed or wants you to notice the yard work he did but never says a word about all the work you do, it can get irritating. I’ve tried … But you are both working, so when is your day off? Lucky for us, we found Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness program. If your husband relies heavily on complaining, it may be time to ask yourself, and him, whether his complaints have a genuine purpose. People ask me all the time how’s retirement, what do you do, are you bored. I could not be with a man like that. I have never been able to work part-time because we can't afford for me to do so.